91. When quitting a goal isn't a failure
In this episode, I share my personal journey of deciding to quit a goal I had set for myself—to participate in a triathlon. Reflecting on my experiences from 10 years ago when I did my first triathlon and how it played a critical role in my life post-divorce, I examine why sometimes it's okay to let go of goals. I discuss the importance of understanding your true motivations and eliminating external pressures when setting goals.
Over the last few months, I found myself not enjoying the training process, especially running, which had always been a challenge for me. From my love of swimming and cycling to my aversion to running, I explain how these realisations led me to reassess my decision. I had signed up for an Olympic triathlon to mark the 10-year anniversary of my first race but came to realise that my 'why' had changed. Forcing myself to complete the triathlon would be unsustainable and unfulfilling, driven more by external validation than personal joy. I emphasise the importance of engaging in activities that bring genuine happiness and fit into one's life realistically, rather than pushing through goals that don't resonate anymore. Recognising these signs and making the decision to quit isn't a failure; rather, it's an acknowledgment of one's evolving desires and priorities.
This episode highlights the significance of recognising your 'why' in goal-setting and the power of quitting things that no longer serve you. Join me as I explore these introspective thoughts and encourage you to find joy and sustainability in your own goals.
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TRANSCRIPT
Rethinking Goals: Why Quitting Isn't Always Failing
Making the decision to quit something can often be perceived as failure, but I believe it's time to challenge that notion. Recently, I made the difficult decision to abandon a plan I had set for myself this year, a decision that many might see as giving up. However, I see it quite differently. Let me explain my reasoning.
A decade ago, I participated in my first triathlon, a pivotal moment that played a significant role in shaping my life and business to what it is today. With the ten-year anniversary approaching, I felt inspired to commemorate that milestone by revisiting triathlon. However, as months passed, I found myself increasingly disengaged from the idea. This prompted me to evaluate my motivations and the goals I was pursuing.
It's common to label the act of quitting as failure, especially when we've set specific goals. But in many cases, it isn't about failing but rather understanding whether the pursuit truly aligns with what we truly desire. When setting goals, whether it's losing weight, adhering to a nutrition plan, or preparing for an event, external influences can often impact our decision-making process. For me, this realisation was critical as I reflected on my intentions behind revisiting triathlon.
Triathlon holds a special place in my heart; after all, I competed in it for two years, leveraging it as a tool for healing and personal growth during a tumultuous period in my life. Yet, despite having a deep appreciation for the sport, running never sparked joy for me. While swimming has been a natural part of my life, growing up competitively swimming in Zambia, and cycling became something I adored, running always felt like a chore.
I initially considered participating in an Olympic triathlon in York as a way of honouring my past journey. But during my reflection process, I recognised that my motivation was not rooted in genuine desire but rather in seeking external validation. This epiphany led me to question my reasons for undertaking the challenge.
For many, the concept of pushing oneself to achieve personal goals can be empowering. Witnessing the spirit and energy of fellow athletes during competitions like the Ironman is undeniably inspirational. However, it's crucial to define personal goals based on intrinsic motivations rather than societal expectations or the need for approval.
After much contemplation, I accepted that the demands of triathlon, particularly the running component, were unsustainable for me. Instead of devoting energy to something I didn't enjoy, I decided to focus on activities that genuinely bring me joy and fulfillment. To that end, I've chosen to prioritise long bike rides with friends, experiences that immerse me in joy and provide immense satisfaction.
Often, people abandon their goals feeling disheartened by unmet expectations or because they never truly defined their why. In my previous discussions, I've highlighted how vital it is to identify your motivation and understand what drives you. By reflecting on what's working and what isn't, we can make meaningful changes to our habits and routines, ensuring they align with what we truly value.
So, I've chosen to withdraw from the upcoming triathlon. I intend to support and cheer on others, but I won't participate myself. This decision isn't a loss to me. Rather, it's a victory in knowing I can now freely chase experiences that resonate with who I am. Investing in activities that genuinely bring happiness and fulfillment—like long bike rides—is where my joy lies.
As you navigate your goals, remember that quitting isn't always synonymous with failure. Often, it's about realigning with what truly matters to you and pursuing a path that provides lasting joy and satisfaction.
